Loneliness – being alone – being all-one
An important aspect in my art work is loneliness. For me, the more coherent spelling “being all-one” is more urgent in its composition and points more clearly to the core of the statement. The german word “all” (you could translate it with: space) implicates a larger, all-encompassing, the infinite – actually not really comprehensible, because its dimension is too large. “Being one” points to the unity in being, whatever is present and wants to be understood. All-being is successful in the awake present, which in turn is the basis of design, creation, art. It should therefore come as no surprise that Solitaire outgrows the studio.
Even if many color awareness paintings are created in series that relate to each other, they are characterized by similarity rather than by the narrative, which does not play a role in my art. By concentrating on the NOW, or better: by being all-one in the creative process, the soul power can flow into the work and curdle into snapshots, which then get their way into freedom as witnesses of this creative work.
Why loneliness?
Game & creativity
As a child, still fully involved in the beauty of simple life on a Slovenian farm, without electric light, but candlelight, no running water, but clear, fresh water from the well and no central heating, but the cozy warmth of a tiled stove (at least in winter) – so under simple living conditions, but in the game, in nature there were breaks with the family when the time came and I was just 6 years old. The desire for some relief, for a little luxury in being there, prompted my mother to go to Germany. The call of the later stepfather, who had 5 children in Germany alone, was too tempting. I lost sight of the two bigger siblings there, my brother came to relatives like me. The little sister was allowed to go on the trip with her while I was housed at the age of 6 with my aunt and uncle in the neighboring town. After a year I was allowed to follow in Southern Germany, but the social apartment hardly offered any space for the existing family of eight, so the decision to move me to the Catholic children’s home made sense from this perspective.
Change & Creation
For the second time my way into the unknown was – this also turned out to be a stroke of luck since the schooling and the compulsion to learn the German language – apart from me, nobody spoke Slovenian in this home – as a kind of “learning acceleration” acted and I was then empowered to speak German but at the same time deprived of Slovenian. Now that I am writing these lines over 50 years have passed and the desire for an interpretation of how and why my art looks like and why this form of creation … the seed for expression in the present could have been planted in these times of change … For me, the greatest miracle is that beauty can grow out of pain.
Curse & blessing
As Sabrina aptly and wonderfully described in her article the benefits of an unhappy childhood, childhood brings each of us to where the soul path leads. Whether curse or blessing alone decides the consciousness and the attentive retrospective consideration on the path accomplished.
loneliness
Loneliness is like rain.
It rises from the sea towards the evenings;
from levels that are distant and remote,
she goes to heaven, which she always has
And it only falls from the sky onto the city.
Raining down in the hermaphrodite hours
when after morning all alleys turn
and when the bodies, which found nothing,
disappointed and sad from each other;
and when the people who hate each other
have to sleep together in a bed:
then loneliness goes with the rivers …
Rainer Maria Rilke, Paris 1902
Version